would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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