well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
as a side note pls kill me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
