If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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