Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
