Already got asked if we're dating
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
