She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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