Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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