I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize