Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
