so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
