i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
