I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
