How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't deserve a penis
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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