you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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