somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
