Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
