the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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