Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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