this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
