What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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