when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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