i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
