dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
