The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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