You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Small penises have feelings too.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
