do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
