Your face is a jimmy john
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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