Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize