I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
