apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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