Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
