so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize