its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize