he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Houston, we have a blender
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
