When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize