i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
