I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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