i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
