its not stalking. its research.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
