As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
