No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dicks are not precious.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
