you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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