Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
