thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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