She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
