Say something about gay babies.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
