Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
