Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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