I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
