nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize