You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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