scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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