You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
