I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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