The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
