took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why do cheetos always look like penises
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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