Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize