Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
