Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
