I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
