also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I only lived at night.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
