I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
