she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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