people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
