Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
