so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
