Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
