420 ftw
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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