I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
