Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize